Sometimes people fall from an aircraft and bounce jovially off the ground; sometimes people turn their heads too quickly and tear the fabric keeping their windpipe in place.
I was on digging trenches in the yard for sprinklers when my then girlfriend came out onto the porch. She was kind of staring off into space. “What’s up?” " I just got a phone call. My mom died." “Congratulations.” “Thank you.”
She was a new girlfriend and I did not know anything about the history between her and her mom. But apparently my response was exactly the right one. Mom had slipped and died in her bathroom.
She was a new girlfriend and I did not know anything about the history between her and her mom. But apparently my response was exactly the right one.
Talk about high risk low to medium reward, holy shit what a daredevil
Each person that has ever dated me has understood that I will never react appropriately in a social situation. Not because I act out of spite but because I have zero clue as to what I’m doing.
Remember, you’re a ghost piloting a walking tent of bone, blood, and flesh using a grey jelly computer running on ConfusedMeat_OS.
As is everyone and everything living that you know.
Also, you’re being co-habited by just a massive amount of bacteria, each of which has their own priorities.
I like to think of myself as a walking city. Makes me feel important.
I’m a walking unprofitable for-profit prison.
today’s meta is jenga posting
God someone stitch the blood donation post under that
I think I missed that one
Check my post history :D
You sure made that easy. Thanks! I don’t actually have any opinions on the matter
Conspiracy by Big Jenga
I don’t like that so many shower doors are glass. I can’t stop myself constantly imagining a Final Destination situation where I slip, fall into the door, shatter the glass and decapitate myself.
I believe they’re usually tempered so they don’t break in large pieces. They usually shatter into small rounded pieces. Source: My cousin broke our shower stall.
I like to dance in the shower. I’m basically driving behind the logging truck.
MORTAL KOMBAT!!!
What if I’m taking a shower and I slip on a bar of soap?
OH MY GOD I’D BE KILLED!
By the colonel, in the kitchen, with a giant vibrator.
Sounds like a fun weekend
Or when you’re on the treadmill and then one of your steps is an inch too far to the side.
Them internal organs be poppin’