It’s also one of the few ways to get enough potassium, an essential nutrient for life (that, or eat a shitload of avocado-based dishes every single day). Learn to love it if you want to live a long life. There are also coconut-based drinks like Body Armor that don’t taste like coconut, but nothing beats the original source when it comes to getting the most potassium per dollar. So it’s best to get used to it and get over it like I did. Eventually you’ll enjoy the taste.

Spoken like someone who has never had fresh coconut water straight from a fresh coconut.

Coconut water is awesome, when it comes straight from the coconut. The crap they sell in cartons is depressing and disgusting.

And don’t even think about drinking their flavored H2SO4.

Bro I tried some and I was looking absolutely radiant afterwards.

Isn’t that just LaCroix?

Man I thought I’d never have to remember the coconut story from reddit.

Hm, I needed a new stage name, thx

I love me some Suspicious White Fluid to go with my Mystery Meat

The following is conjecture based on my highschool level knowledge of chemistry:

Alright, so let’s say this bottle suddenly appeared on your kitchen counter:

t = 0: The liquid C₂O immediately begins to decompose. Since it’s highly unstable, the bonds between carbon and oxygen atoms start breaking apart, even more rapidly in the presence of air. The immediate breakdown will produce carbon monoxide (CO) and elemental carbon.

t = 0 to t = 0.01 milliseconds: The initial decomposition reaction of C₂O releases a significant amount of heat. The heat from this reaction will cause the wax paper bottle to begin melting almost instantly. Compromising the bottle would expose the highly reactive C₂O directly to the air (Lots of oxygen!). Since the wax paper is flammable, the intense heat would cause the bottle to ignite, adding burning wax to the mix.

t = 0.01 milliseconds to t = 0.1 milliseconds: The carbon monoxide (CO) gas and solid carbon particles being produced will come into direct contact with the air. In the presence of oxygen, the carbon monoxide (CO) would start to burn, forming carbon dioxide (CO₂) and releasing even more heat:

2CO + O₂ --> 2CO₂

The wax paper bottle will likely be completely engulfed in flames at this point, burning rapidly due to the intense heat generated by the decomposition of C₂O and the oxidation of CO.

t = 0.1 milliseconds to t = 1 millisecond: The wax paper, now fully aflame, is contributing to the fire, adding smoke and soot from the combustion of hydrocarbons in the wax. As the heat from the fire builds, any residual liquid C₂O would further vaporize and decompose, intensifying the reaction. The decomposition continues to produce CO and solid carbon, while the surrounding air feeds oxygen to the burning CO, turning it into CO₂. At this stage, the pressure inside the remaining wax paper bottle would become too high, likely causing the bottle to burst in a small explosion, spraying any remaining liquid C₂O into the air.

t = 1 millisecond to t = 1 second: As the explosion occurs, the now airborne liquid C₂O particles would decompose instantly, reacting with the available oxygen in the air and producing more CO and CO₂. The additional heat generated would cause a tiny fireball to erupt, consuming any remaining wax from the bottle and intensifying the flames. Carbon soot (from the solid carbon produced in the decomposition) would mix with the smoke from the burning wax, forming a thick, black cloud. The surrounding air would become superheated, and the fireball would quickly dissipate as the remaining C₂O fully decomposes and reacts with oxygen.

t = 1 second and beyond: The result is a scorched area where the wax paper bottle used to be, surrounded by the remnants of burnt wax, carbon dioxide (CO₂), and solid carbon (soot). The carbon monoxide initially produced would be mostly oxidized into carbon dioxide due to the presence of oxygen, though some trace CO might still linger. Soot and charred remains of the wax bottle would coat the immediate area, while the air would be filled with the smell of burnt wax and carbon.

Dicarbon monoxide. Wikipedia is shockingly poor in information about it, but “stable” is certainly not the first word I’d use to describe it.

Looks pretty darn reactive

They have replaced the H in the chemical formula for water (H2O) with a C to represent “coconut”. However, C already stands for a chemical element, carbon. That implies this product is a compound made of two carbon atoms and one oxygen. If such a thing exists, it would be incredibly unstable and react with anything it touches; you certainly would not want to drink it.

They wanted to imply the C is for coconut and this is coconut water but really all they did to people that passed middle school (which you’ll get to soon enough) is say “this is dicarbon monoxide.”

I don’t know what would happen if you were to drink C2O but it probably wouldn’t be good, making this a drink marketed to idiots by idiots (marketing majors)

Yeah, I buy a case of these every so often. The label is goofy and probably made by someone who didn’t realize what they were implying chemically, but the ingredients are 100% coconut water. No added sugar. No pulp. Good source of potassium. Really delicious.