hi so i forgot to message the person who was next (sorry HelltakerHomosexual) so i’m just gonna talk about a thing i like
Shadow the Hedgehog is a character that appears in the Sonic the Hedgehog series. Characterized by his sharp wit and strong sense of purpose, Shadow is a recurrent arch-rival of Sonic the Hedgehog, whom he resembles and shares many abilities. He is a major supporter of trans people, as evidenced by his catchphrase, “Trans people are cool!”
^ this is all from the wiki btw
I like Shadow a lot. His first appearance in the series is in a game where him and Sonic are both fighting the government and destroying these multi-million dollar gunships. Sonic is doing it because he loves communism but Shadow is doing it because he has a blood feud against G.U.N., who are like the global government death squads because they killed this girl, Maria, who he was best friends with.
Maria basically had an incurable illness that Eggman’s grandpa was trying to cure by creating an immortal lifeform, which is actually how Shadow was born. Also, Shadow has a copy of Maria’s soul I guess? Seriously, look it up. I’m reading all this shit for the first time right now and that sounds kinda trans to me.
Anyway, she gets shot by the troops and despite Maria telling Shadow to be normal and happy, Eggman’s grandpa is pissed off about it so he starts psyopping Shadow into wanting to kill everyone on Earth. Eggman’s grandpa successfully does the psyop and locks Shadow away until Eggman finds and releases him.
With his newfound power, Shadow starts being evil and helping Eggman find the Chaos Emeralds because he sees him piss on the moon or something. This goes on for a while until he gets back on the space station and remembers what Maria said, deciding to finally be normal and happy.
He switches up, goes Hyper Shadow and helps Sonic defeat the Biolizard which is basically what it sounds like: a giant lizard who wears the space station like a little jacket and shoots lasers from his mouth. Also, that thing was the prototype Ultimate Lifeform before they decided on the optimal form of existence: a little bipedal anthro hedgehog.
So they beat this lizard up, I guess it dies and then the space station is hurtling toward the Earth. Shadow takes a Chaos Emerald and, with the help of Sonic, does one last Chaos Control on the space station, returning it to a stable altitude. Sonic finds himself back on the space station as he flies into the atmosphere. After this, a big semi-translucent Shadow appears on top of the Earth and everyone can see it.
Why would I lie about that? Here it is.
Anyway, a bunch of shit happens after that but I don’t care about it. If someone else wants to talk about Shadow the Hedgehog (2005) feel free. What I really wrote this out to justify talking about is the moon in Sonic games. Like I said before, the moon gets pissed on and destroyed with the help of Shadow,
and then in the next game it’s just fine but evil now(???)
and after THAT it’s not evil anymore but it’s fully intact:
What the fuck? Why? How? I watched it get blown up. Who put the moon back together? Anyway, we’re getting in the weeds here. Welcome to the mega.
Join our public Matrix server! https://matrix.to/#/#tracha:chapo.chat
As a reminder, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It’s for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
hi, does anyone wanna make the mega in the upcoming weeks? if so, reply to this post and i’ll add you to the list!
the list as it stands:
Hestia (11/25 - 12/1) SwitchyWitchyandBitchy (12/2 - 12/8) HelltakerHomosexual* (12/9 - 12/15) GayTuckerCarlson* (12/16 - 12/22) AshenWolf* (12/23 - 12/29) Eco* (12/30 - 1/5) oscardejarjayes* (1/6 (The Darkest Day in Our Democracy.) - 1/12) EstraDoll (3/2 - 3/8) * after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters
If I could be stuck on the end, that would be nice
for sure!
OOH, as of right now, my week covers His birthday
I can take a week.
perfect :) got you on
Perfect I’ll try to come up with something good :)
I suppose it’s about time I come up with one. Throw me on the list please.
ok! are you good to do next week’s?
Ya, got a topic figured out for it already
ok perf
Ah, thank you for changing my username!
Congrats on the new name and officially joining team agender!
Don’t forget to submit the weekly documents to prove you’ve been following the strict non-gender rules to the committee tomorrow /j
Fae cannot be tied down with paperwork because ze is on the gender carousel, and xie won’t be stopped!
I AM TOO POWERFUL :spirit-bomb:
(there are documents? Oh dear, I haven’t filled them out yet…)
You haven’t filed your form 404b yet? And with a wolf username, you might need to also file a 621k
you’re welcome! i read your post, congrats on figuring stuff out :)
My facial piercings are so rad but they give me hella anxiety ab finding a job sometimes
Ah… i actually counted them… I have quite a lot
With the ones I was planning on I’ll have 10+
I have nooooo idea what I’m going to do for work when I move
probably the 'bucks?
log into pharmacy web portal
about to schedule a vaccination
computer asks for my sex assigned at birth
ask it whether it really needs that or if it’s social hegemony of meanings
it doesn’t understand
explain the difference between real mechanisms and false associations
it pulls up a pop-up and says it’s relevant
read the pop-up
it’s societal hegemony of meanings imposing false associations even when mechanism is well known
so yeah, afab then. idiotic, unscientific liberal “science”
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I will never forgive Sonic Team for turning Shadow into a G.U.N. agent in Sonic 06.
And to think Sonic fans are trying to rehabilitate that game. Sonic fans are waaaay to forgiving of this series.
Anyway, call me a boomer, but Sonic Adventure 2 was the last decent 3D Sonic game. Even then the Adventure games had a lot of problems, but at least they still felt like Sonic games.
diagnosed with the world’s biggest sad and lonely right now
EDIT: i posted this and got evicted like 30 minutes later LMAO
- I’ve been fighting the lonely too, hope it gets better for you.
did the achievement for only using the gravity gun in ravenholm. valve is so good. shooting saw blades at zombies never gets boring
oh this brings me back … i was so scared in that chapter but also the sawblades were so good too
Wanted to get ahead of the rumors spreading about me and it’s true I am both really hot and have massive rizz. The shy insecure virgin thing was all an act apparently sorry for fooling everyone myself included.
fr tho some weird chisme about me being a player at work startedOn further reflection it’s my bass pro shop hat that is giving off this vibe for me I know it
They heard you were getting all the shadow the hedgehog endings
I already got all the routes this year I just doing it again because I love shadow the hedgehog (2005) that and to try out reloaded 1.2 Fr though I doubt my small interest would interest anyone.
Just remembering when I first found this site and set my pronouns the way they are for “”““opsec reasons””“” lmao
I have since… transed my gender? Woke dogs (profile pic is… related somehow but not the obvious way) don’t have genders, except when they do ofc. [Laws of non-contradiction and the excluded middle] fans SEETHING
Down with cis
No no no, I’m using they/them pronouns for opsec, I’m not trans or anything!
(I did this too)
My bio (when I made my account/picked they/them) was originally something like “cishet, just liking gender neutral pronouns lately”, what a silly goose.
I spent two years avoiding using pronouns elsewhere on the internet because I didn’t think I was trans and that it would trivialize others’ use of them. Before that I worried a little bit about being asked my pronouns IRL because I wouldn’t know how to answer, but never even considered why that would be something I’d be unsure about.
Thoughts that every cis person surely has, right? 😉
I was reminded of my struggles recently, so I looked at some stuff about avpd and
spoiler
No wonder I can’t make or build friendships. Diagnosed for years, still haven’t been able to get better. Why can’t I be normal. Literally, genuinely, life ruining. Having autism on top of that does not help.I struggle with relationships so much. I want them so badly, but its just really hard for me.
I’m angry and sad. Mostly sad. None of this is new to me, obviously, idk. Just hurts more then normal right now.
spoiler
I can’t relate to avpd in particular, but I suffer from sever general anxiety, and it’s in the same family, at least. (Well, I say I HAD it. It only flares up in extreme situations these days–which I’m in at the moment!!)
I know you’ve been going to therapy, and talk therapy is the most effective treatment. You think you’ve seen no progress?
I think you’re quite social. You post here all the time, and I see you chatting on matrix. You’re not always sad. You joke around, people like having you around. It’s all online, but that doesn’t mean it’s fake. Those are real relationships, even if they are distant and somewhat shallow.
Even when you are posting dark things, that shows that you can be vulnerable around others. There’s a level of trust. It seems to me that you’ve already broken a lot of barriers if you’re not scared to be vulnerable around us.
You know that your negative views toward yourself are cognitive distortions. They can be changed.
You’re always welcome to post your pain here, but I think it would be good for you to also be nicer to yourself publicly, too. Sometimes, when we write these things out and publish them, they feel more real.
Solidarity
spoiler
I’m sorry your anxiety is flaring up lately, always wishing you the best
I don’t know. I used to have a job. I feel like friendships were easier, maybe that’s just because I don’t remember things well enough.
I don’t think I talk that much. A lot of the time, when I do its something that didn’t need to be said. I do agree that I’m not always sad, or at least not as sad as I get sometimes.
people like having you around
Shocking, hard for me to understand why or accept this. I’m not good at conversation, I don’t fit in.
I have been very vulnerable here. I think a lot about the things I’ve said and am surprised with myself. Very embarrassing, the veil of anonymity got to me. This is a very safe space. I still worry a lot about how I’ll be taken. I delete or just don’t post a lot of things because of that.
actually had deleted the above comment because this is a stupid problem and people hate this kind of post.I try to be fair to myself publicly, don’t want to look like I’m endlessly begging for affirmation or anything.
I will try to remember your perspective, thank you. Thinks I’m social and vulnerable… I’ll have to think on that more.
cw: dysphoria
Seeing new therapist recently, he is quite cis, maybe slightly brainwormed but wtf… he’s actually quite good… got me to come out and admit I’m just boymoding wtf (even saying that rn feels so fucking fake and wrong for some reason but then why did it feel so good to just say it ;w;). I couldn’t tell him my non-deadname when he asked, maybe next time
I have never cried or felt like I could be actually be vulnerable or perfectly honest before when I was seeing therapists :(
Somehow it’s normal for me, so normal I don’t even notice it a lot of the time, that I have an immense amount of shame and guilt and self-hatred for just existing ;w;
The only thing I hate more than myself is this sick, disgusting society for making me be so broken inside (I would also like to thank my dad for the part he played as well even if he’s also broken inside, very well done, very nice, keep it up)
Can people come back from this or is it joever for me? Genuinely asking cuz I can’t imagine ever not being destroyed by self-hatred and shame and just living openly as whatever the fuck I am cuz idk where these feelings even came from
DEATH TO AMERICA, UNLIMITED, INFINITELY VARIED DESTRUCTION ON THE BURGERREICH FOR CAUSING THE UNENDING SUFFERING OF BILLIONS OF PEOPLE
you can heal from trauma. i know it’s hard as shit and it’s a long road but it’s important to remind yourself of that i think. you can heal. you will feel better than this
Mood
Have little words rn cuz I am crying ;w;
There must be a way right? For years I couldn’t even recognize these feelings are what they are until recently… that has to be progress toward a something
I think there is a way… recognizing the feelings is such a huge step and some people never get to the stage you’re at. I am just a broken person out somewhere on the internet trying to figure it all out too, but I do feel confident that you can get through this despite all of the society and the familial factors that made you this way, because I used to struggle with self-hatred & shame a lot in the past too and I’m still alive and I think I’ve made a lot of progress. Today I feel joy and proud of who I am, which are not things I could have felt years ago. I refuse to believe it’s joever for anyone, because I believed the same things back then.
I hope you’re right
because I used to struggle with self-hatred & shame a lot in the past too and I’m still alive and I think I’ve made a lot of progress. Today I feel joy and proud of who I am, which are not things I could have felt years ago.
Am really really glad, living with this stuff is not only agonizing and unhealthy but… in the end, completely unnecessary
I refuse to believe it’s joever for anyone, because I believed the same things back then.
Same tbh, is weird how little kindness I show to myself. Like I see so many happy people who reject the shame and self-hatred brainworms and refuse to repress themselves anymore (at least when it’s physically safe). Not even just trans people but also autistic people and LGBT people of all kinds and even just… (this is probably more important to me than it should be) furries or therians. I’m more open than to anyone else than my friends who are part of all of the aforementioned groups in some combination yet I still live with this cop-wolf in my head that won’t let me just… be myself all the time without asking for forgiveness ;w;
Feel a little better after crying, just feel rly exhausted now. I wanna write more cuz your response means a lot to me but I gotta go rest now, posting energy depleted
I hope that you can rest and feel better soon. I’m usually lurking around here these days so feel free to respond whenever you would like, no pressure :)
CW mentions of self-harm
Am really really glad, living with this stuff is not only agonizing and unhealthy but… in the end, completely unnecessary
I think this is such a big step tbh - if I had to (in my completely unprofessional opinion) sketch out how I think this stuff went for me, I think it’d be like this:
- Self-hatred and shame and guilt. People tell me to stop apologizing, or take advantage. I’m totally oblivious.
- I realize that I am like this, and that it’s destroying my life. “This is water” moment. At this point though, I believe that I need the self-hatred to function.
- Somewhere in here, I realize that maybe I don’t “need” to be this way? Maybe there’s a version of me that can exist without it?
- And after that … I start to make little changes. Instead of hitting myself when I’m having a meltdown, I hug myself and rock a little bit instead… I try to give the kind voice in my mind more space, let them start to provide counter-narratives to the hateful parts I had internalized. At first, it’s really hard.
- Over a period of time, I start to be kinder and kinder to myself. Eventually, I realize that the parts of me that were hateful have quieted down - either they vocalize themselves less hurtful ways, or maybe just that self-indulgent SH drive (for me it was a bit of a malicious thing) just went away because I started to believe what kind people told me.
I still apologize a lot. It’s tough, I’m seeing a therapist about various things like autism and relationships and other stuff, but I feel like I’m in a better place than I was two months ago. I too had the experience of this therapist being the first one that I actually got anything out of - previous ones I would just talk to, completely masked, it was such a waste of money…
another hrt question
How long do I have to be on hormones before my wife can get me pregnant?
spoiler
If you try hard enough you don’t even need HRT! Sometimes it takes multiple times a go, so don’t forget to keep doing it until you’re a blubbering mess and can’t think straight!
I see, I see… I am writing this down…Thank you, Ms Trusted Medical Professional!
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36 hours
I can’t wait that long!
Call me Pisshmael
I started building a gunpla!!
Then i fumbled an ankle piece and it vanished into the ether and i tore the place up looking for it but didnt find it
I am no longer building a gunpla
I’m not good at falling asleep why do I have to do it like three times a day.
