hi so i forgot to message the person who was next (sorry HelltakerHomosexual) so i’m just gonna talk about a thing i like

Shadow the Hedgehog is a character that appears in the Sonic the Hedgehog series. Characterized by his sharp wit and strong sense of purpose, Shadow is a recurrent arch-rival of Sonic the Hedgehog, whom he resembles and shares many abilities. He is a major supporter of trans people, as evidenced by his catchphrase, “Trans people are cool!”

^ this is all from the wiki btw

I like Shadow a lot. His first appearance in the series is in a game where him and Sonic are both fighting the government and destroying these multi-million dollar gunships. Sonic is doing it because he loves communism but Shadow is doing it because he has a blood feud against G.U.N., who are like the global government death squads because they killed this girl, Maria, who he was best friends with.

Maria basically had an incurable illness that Eggman’s grandpa was trying to cure by creating an immortal lifeform, which is actually how Shadow was born. Also, Shadow has a copy of Maria’s soul I guess? Seriously, look it up. I’m reading all this shit for the first time right now and that sounds kinda trans to me.

Anyway, she gets shot by the troops and despite Maria telling Shadow to be normal and happy, Eggman’s grandpa is pissed off about it so he starts psyopping Shadow into wanting to kill everyone on Earth. Eggman’s grandpa successfully does the psyop and locks Shadow away until Eggman finds and releases him.

With his newfound power, Shadow starts being evil and helping Eggman find the Chaos Emeralds because he sees him piss on the moon or something. This goes on for a while until he gets back on the space station and remembers what Maria said, deciding to finally be normal and happy.

He switches up, goes Hyper Shadow and helps Sonic defeat the Biolizard which is basically what it sounds like: a giant lizard who wears the space station like a little jacket and shoots lasers from his mouth. Also, that thing was the prototype Ultimate Lifeform before they decided on the optimal form of existence: a little bipedal anthro hedgehog.

So they beat this lizard up, I guess it dies and then the space station is hurtling toward the Earth. Shadow takes a Chaos Emerald and, with the help of Sonic, does one last Chaos Control on the space station, returning it to a stable altitude. Sonic finds himself back on the space station as he flies into the atmosphere. After this, a big semi-translucent Shadow appears on top of the Earth and everyone can see it.

Why would I lie about that? Here it is.

Anyway, a bunch of shit happens after that but I don’t care about it. If someone else wants to talk about Shadow the Hedgehog (2005) feel free. What I really wrote this out to justify talking about is the moon in Sonic games. Like I said before, the moon gets pissed on and destroyed with the help of Shadow,

and then in the next game it’s just fine but evil now(???)

and after THAT it’s not evil anymore but it’s fully intact:

What the fuck? Why? How? I watched it get blown up. Who put the moon back together? Anyway, we’re getting in the weeds here. Welcome to the mega.

Join our public Matrix server! https://matrix.to/#/#tracha:chapo.chat

As a reminder, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It’s for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.

Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.

  • gaystyleJoker [she/her]@hexbear.netOPMEnglish
    8·
    9 hours ago

    hi, does anyone wanna make the mega in the upcoming weeks? if so, reply to this post and i’ll add you to the list!

    the list as it stands:

    Hestia (11/25 - 12/1)
SwitchyWitchyandBitchy (12/2 - 12/8)
HelltakerHomosexual* (12/9 - 12/15)
GayTuckerCarlson* (12/16 - 12/22)
AshenWolf*  (12/23 - 12/29)
Eco* (12/30 - 1/5)
oscardejarjayes* (1/6 (The Darkest Day in Our Democracy.) - 1/12)

EstraDoll (3/2 - 3/8)

    ​ * after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters

  • iridaniotter [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    10·
    5 hours ago

    log into pharmacy web portal

    about to schedule a vaccination

    computer asks for my sex assigned at birth

    ask it whether it really needs that or if it’s social hegemony of meanings

    it doesn’t understand

    explain the difference between real mechanisms and false associations

    it pulls up a pop-up and says it’s relevant

    read the pop-up

    it’s societal hegemony of meanings imposing false associations even when mechanism is well known

    picard

    • morte [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
      4·
      4 hours ago

      Ah… i actually counted them… I have quite a lot

      With the ones I was planning on I’ll have 10+

      I have nooooo idea what I’m going to do for work when I move

      probably the 'bucks?

  • EstraDoll [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    10·
    4 hours ago

    diagnosed with the world’s biggest sad and lonely right now agony-deep

    EDIT: i posted this and got evicted like 30 minutes later LMAO

  • Dirt_Owl [comrade/them, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    6·
    5 hours ago

    I will never forgive Sonic Team for turning Shadow into a G.U.N. agent in Sonic 06.

    And to think Sonic fans are trying to rehabilitate that game. Sonic fans are waaaay to forgiving of this series.

    Anyway, call me a boomer, but Sonic Adventure 2 was the last decent 3D Sonic game. Even then the Adventure games had a lot of problems, but at least they still felt like Sonic games.

  • Yor [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    4·
    5 hours ago

    did the achievement for only using the gravity gun in ravenholm. valve is so good. shooting saw blades at zombies never gets boring

  • Wmill [they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    7·
    7 hours ago

    Wanted to get ahead of the rumors spreading about me and it’s true I am both really hot and have massive rizz. The shy insecure virgin thing was all an act apparently sorry for fooling everyone myself included. niko-yawn fr tho some weird chisme about me being a player at work started

  • BountifulEggnog [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    8·
    8 hours ago

    I was reminded of my struggles recently, so I looked at some stuff about avpd and

    spoiler

    kitty-cri No wonder I can’t make or build friendships. Diagnosed for years, still haven’t been able to get better. Why can’t I be normal. Literally, genuinely, life ruining. Having autism on top of that does not help.

    I struggle with relationships so much. I want them so badly, but its just really hard for me.

    I’m angry and sad. Mostly sad. None of this is new to me, obviously, idk. Just hurts more then normal right now.

    • Thallo [love/loves]@hexbear.netEnglish
      5·
      5 hours ago
      spoiler

      I can’t relate to avpd in particular, but I suffer from sever general anxiety, and it’s in the same family, at least. (Well, I say I HAD it. It only flares up in extreme situations these days–which I’m in at the moment!!)

      I know you’ve been going to therapy, and talk therapy is the most effective treatment. You think you’ve seen no progress?

      I think you’re quite social. You post here all the time, and I see you chatting on matrix. You’re not always sad. You joke around, people like having you around. It’s all online, but that doesn’t mean it’s fake. Those are real relationships, even if they are distant and somewhat shallow.

      Even when you are posting dark things, that shows that you can be vulnerable around others. There’s a level of trust. It seems to me that you’ve already broken a lot of barriers if you’re not scared to be vulnerable around us.

      You know that your negative views toward yourself are cognitive distortions. They can be changed.

      You’re always welcome to post your pain here, but I think it would be good for you to also be nicer to yourself publicly, too. Sometimes, when we write these things out and publish them, they feel more real.

      Solidarity meow-hug

      • BountifulEggnog [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
        2·
        4 hours ago
        spoiler

        I’m sorry your anxiety is flaring up lately, always wishing you the best meow-hug

        I don’t know. I used to have a job. I feel like friendships were easier, maybe that’s just because I don’t remember things well enough.

        I don’t think I talk that much. A lot of the time, when I do its something that didn’t need to be said. I do agree that I’m not always sad, or at least not as sad as I get sometimes.

        people like having you around

        Shocking, hard for me to understand why or accept this. I’m not good at conversation, I don’t fit in.

        I have been very vulnerable here. I think a lot about the things I’ve said and am surprised with myself. Very embarrassing, the veil of anonymity got to me. This is a very safe space. I still worry a lot about how I’ll be taken. I delete or just don’t post a lot of things because of that. actually had deleted the above comment because this is a stupid problem and people hate this kind of post.

        I try to be fair to myself publicly, don’t want to look like I’m endlessly begging for affirmation or anything.

        I will try to remember your perspective, thank you. Thinks I’m social and vulnerable… I’ll have to think on that more.

        • Thallo [love/loves]@hexbear.netEnglish
          2·
          2 hours ago
          spoiler

          Thank you~

          I don’t think I talk that much. A lot of the time, when I do its something that didn’t need to be said.

          You don’t need to! It’s nice to have someone quiet around. That second sentence is just a judgment, and it’s probably untrue.

          Shocking, hard for me to understand why or accept this

          You’re kind. No matter how much pain you’re feeling, you always have it in you to be empathetic to others. Kindness is also strength.

          I’m not good at conversation, I don’t fit in.

          I mean… Maybe you don’t fit into cis heteronormative white supremacist capitalist culture, but… Is that bad?

          You fit in perfectly in a room full of neurodiverent trans people hero-wink

          don’t want to look like I’m endlessly begging for affirmation or anything.

          Nobody thinks this <3

  • PaX [comrade/them, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    11·
    8 hours ago

    Just remembering when I first found this site and set my pronouns the way they are for “”““opsec reasons””“” lmao

    I have since… transed my gender? Woke dogs (profile pic is… related somehow but not the obvious way) don’t have genders, except when they do ofc. [Laws of non-contradiction and the excluded middle] fans SEETHING

    Down with cis sicko-hexbear-woke

      • BountifulEggnog [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
        5·
        6 hours ago

        My bio (when I made my account/picked they/them) was originally something like “cishet, just liking gender neutral pronouns lately”, what a silly goose.

        • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]@lemmy.today
          3·
          3 hours ago

          I spent two years avoiding using pronouns elsewhere on the internet because I didn’t think I was trans and that it would trivialize others’ use of them. Before that I worried a little bit about being asked my pronouns IRL because I wouldn’t know how to answer, but never even considered why that would be something I’d be unsure about.

  • PaX [comrade/them, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    13·
    9 hours ago
    cw: dysphoria

    Seeing new therapist recently, he is quite cis, maybe slightly brainwormed but wtf… he’s actually quite good… got me to come out and admit I’m just boymoding wtf (even saying that rn feels so fucking fake and wrong for some reason but then why did it feel so good to just say it ;w;). I couldn’t tell him my non-deadname when he asked, maybe next time

    I have never cried or felt like I could be actually be vulnerable or perfectly honest before when I was seeing therapists :(

    Somehow it’s normal for me, so normal I don’t even notice it a lot of the time, that I have an immense amount of shame and guilt and self-hatred for just existing ;w;

    The only thing I hate more than myself is this sick, disgusting society for making me be so broken inside (I would also like to thank my dad for the part he played as well even if he’s also broken inside, very well done, very nice, keep it up)

    Can people come back from this or is it joever for me? Genuinely asking cuz I can’t imagine ever not being destroyed by self-hatred and shame and just living openly as whatever the fuck I am cuz idk where these feelings even came from

    DEATH TO AMERICA, UNLIMITED, INFINITELY VARIED DESTRUCTION ON THE BURGERREICH FOR CAUSING THE UNENDING SUFFERING OF BILLIONS OF PEOPLE

    • Beetle [hy/hym]@hexbear.net
      2·
      29 minutes ago
      spoiler

      I felt very similar to you a few years ago. Was very depressed and did not feel like I could ever get better. Felt like I was broken in many ways and just overal a dysfunctional person.

      Learned through therapy that those feelings came through trauma, and that they’re not normal. I used to cope by distracting myself always (still do to some degree), either through work, college or rotting in bed watching slop. Had to be in bed a lot of the time because the energy it took to ignore my trauma and negativity thoughts was a lot.

      Through therapy I’m still untangling the mess of multiple sources of trauma and I think I’m nearing the end stage of that, because a lot of my bad habits and negative feelings have a very clear source now. Knowing the source of a negative feeling makes it much easier to not take serious.

      For example, I have a big problem with guilt, the smallest source of guilt would make me spiral. Now that I know why guilt makes me feel so incredibly bad, I know that it’s not because of the small thing I did wrong, but because of a trauma response that makes me feel all the bad feelings I felt as a kid. It’s easier to accept that the feeling is there when the source is so clear, and I know now that I don’t really have to address it and can just wait till it’s over.

      Now that I don’t constantly get bombarded with very strong negative feelings without a clear source, I feel a lot more at rest which gives me confidence that I can now work on changing some of my bad habits that I used for coping.

      Like I truly never believed I could be happy with myself and feel some kind of inner peace but now I am and I do a lot of the time. And when I don’t then I know it’s because I didn’t sleep well for a while or because I’m stressed about something and know that I’ll get the feeling back after a while.

      There are people who have very different experiences with therapy than me so I won’t say it’s a definite ‘cure’ but there are a lot of people who have at least felt some relief through therapy and the issues you mention make you a good candidate for it.

    • urmums401k [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
      2·
      52 minutes ago

      You won’t be what you’re thinking of, but you can put the pieces back together, on a spectrum from kintsugi to ikeahacking

      Which isn’t always more fun than just being broken, but sometimes it is.

      • PaX [comrade/them, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
        9·
        9 hours ago

        meow-hug

        Have little words rn cuz I am crying ;w;

        There must be a way right? For years I couldn’t even recognize these feelings are what they are until recently… that has to be progress toward a something

        cat-trans

        • rtstragedy [fae/faer, she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
          7·
          8 hours ago

          I think there is a way… recognizing the feelings is such a huge step and some people never get to the stage you’re at. I am just a broken person out somewhere on the internet trying to figure it all out too, but I do feel confident that you can get through this despite all of the society and the familial factors that made you this way, because I used to struggle with self-hatred & shame a lot in the past too and I’m still alive and I think I’ve made a lot of progress. Today I feel joy and proud of who I am, which are not things I could have felt years ago. I refuse to believe it’s joever for anyone, because I believed the same things back then.

          • PaX [comrade/them, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
            8·
            8 hours ago

            I hope you’re right

            because I used to struggle with self-hatred & shame a lot in the past too and I’m still alive and I think I’ve made a lot of progress. Today I feel joy and proud of who I am, which are not things I could have felt years ago.

            Am really really glad, living with this stuff is not only agonizing and unhealthy but… in the end, completely unnecessary

            I refuse to believe it’s joever for anyone, because I believed the same things back then.

            Same tbh, is weird how little kindness I show to myself. Like I see so many happy people who reject the shame and self-hatred brainworms and refuse to repress themselves anymore (at least when it’s physically safe). Not even just trans people but also autistic people and LGBT people of all kinds and even just… (this is probably more important to me than it should be) furries or therians. I’m more open than to anyone else than my friends who are part of all of the aforementioned groups in some combination yet I still live with this cop-wolf in my head that won’t let me just… be myself all the time without asking for forgiveness ;w;

            Feel a little better after crying, just feel rly exhausted now. I wanna write more cuz your response means a lot to me but I gotta go rest now, posting energy depleted

            cuddle

            • rtstragedy [fae/faer, she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
              6·
              7 hours ago

              I hope that you can rest and feel better soon. I’m usually lurking around here these days so feel free to respond whenever you would like, no pressure :) cuddle

              CW mentions of self-harm

              Am really really glad, living with this stuff is not only agonizing and unhealthy but… in the end, completely unnecessary

              I think this is such a big step tbh - if I had to (in my completely unprofessional opinion) sketch out how I think this stuff went for me, I think it’d be like this:

              1. Self-hatred and shame and guilt. People tell me to stop apologizing, or take advantage. I’m totally oblivious.
              2. I realize that I am like this, and that it’s destroying my life. “This is water” moment. At this point though, I believe that I need the self-hatred to function.
              3. Somewhere in here, I realize that maybe I don’t “need” to be this way? Maybe there’s a version of me that can exist without it?
              4. And after that … I start to make little changes. Instead of hitting myself when I’m having a meltdown, I hug myself and rock a little bit instead… I try to give the kind voice in my mind more space, let them start to provide counter-narratives to the hateful parts I had internalized. At first, it’s really hard.
              5. Over a period of time, I start to be kinder and kinder to myself. Eventually, I realize that the parts of me that were hateful have quieted down - either they vocalize themselves less hurtful ways, or maybe just that self-indulgent SH drive (for me it was a bit of a malicious thing) just went away because I started to believe what kind people told me.

              I still apologize a lot. It’s tough, I’m seeing a therapist about various things like autism and relationships and other stuff, but I feel like I’m in a better place than I was two months ago. I too had the experience of this therapist being the first one that I actually got anything out of - previous ones I would just talk to, completely masked, it was such a waste of money…