i-cant

  • supafuzz [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    $60,000 reward with a “terms and conditions apply, you ain’t never gonna see this money” asterisk is just about the most American thing ever. Everything is always a scam, no exceptions

  • gaycomputeruser [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    1 day ago

    They basically never pay out tip money if full. Even if you nail the guy with your tip, and he gets convicted, they always find a way that your tip was on 80% helpful or some shit.

  • 2Password2Remember [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago
    1. honestly good, fuck that shithead

    2. bourgeoisie showing their whole ass by not even rewarding the class traitors who help them. hopefully this story spreads far and wide and discourages future stitch-getters

    3. our ruling class is so aggressively incompetent, it would be funny if we weren’t still losing

    Death to America

    • ChaosMaterialist [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      2 days ago

      our ruling class is so aggressively incompetent, it would be funny if we weren’t still losing

      One of the brighter billionaires will :redacted-1::redacted-2:

      logs

      known reality warper and accidental :lathe-of-heaven:

      pruned :redacted-1::redacted-2: to maintain temporal continuity

  • TheDrink [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 day ago

    You would think that the feds would realize that it is in their interest to pay the person extremely publicly so that everyone knows that traitors get rewarded. Guess not.

    • DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml
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      24 hours ago

      If the snitch was very loudly and publicly given the money, they’d be spending it all on a stay in the hospital very soon afterwards.

  • Grownbravy [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    i hope it was worth it, a life changing amount of money dangled in front of your face and the rules are so fucking obfuscating that you cant even be sure if you still qualify after reading the rules.

  • btfod [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    The McDonald’s worker said they saw Mangione around 9.15am ‘acting suspiciously’ in the restaurant, adding that he appeared to have fraudulent documents

    What’s this about? I’m trying to think of why it would ever be necessary to show an ID at McDonald’s… so we might have a real super sleuth of an employee on our hands here! Were they really out there eyeing every table just in case a patron decided to lay out their fake IDs and forged documents like they were about to start vlogging? What foresight and dedication! It would be such a tragedy for the bravest and goodest hero who saved the day not to get their due reward, instead to fade away into history like they were never there in the first place…

    • WhatDoYouMeanPodcast [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      2 days ago

      Same comment from me:

      The search then grew over the weekend ,as the FBI backed the NYPD in the investigation, adding an additional $50,000 to the pot, and hundreds of tips poured in.

      The McDonald’s worker said they saw Mangione around 9.15am ‘acting suspiciously’ in the restaurant, adding that he appeared to have fraudulent documents.

      Mangione was then arrested with five charges at the scene, as officers found he was in possession of fake IDs, a ‘ghost’ gun, silencer, clothes, and a mask matching the one that the suspected shooter was captured wearing.

      I’m so tinfoil hat about it. Out of the hundreds and hundreds, if not thousands of tips this one worked? A Greyhound from New York to California is 3 days straight? 4 or 5 with rest? So in essence the man could have been anywhere in the continental US - hell, anywhere on the globe and especially those parts where it’s hard to come into contact with a police department that gives a fuck. But in that McDonald’s in particular a man was acting strange? And wasn’t just told to fuck off? And the employee wasn’t just like “get the fuck out of my store” they were like “that guy looks just like that guy with the smile!” Why the fuck would he splay out his fake IDs and tell people about it? How suspicious are you acting in McDonald’s that they would search your car? What’s that? You had the same clothes, mask, and gun on your person? That’s even weirder!! No car? Throw your shit away!! As a matter of fact, go through the drive through and eat in the parking lot. It seems like a generational throw coupled with generational luck.

      • DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml
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        1 day ago

        Mangione was then arrested with five charges at the scene, as officers found he was in possession of …clothes…

        Damn, they really will just nail you for anything these days…

      • FALGSConaut [comrade/them]@hexbear.netM
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        2 days ago

        There’s so much about this that’s weird. Why did he still have all his shit on him? Why was he still so close? Hell, why was he just chilling at the McDonald’s? Take that shit to go & eat somewhere else! .

        I’m split on whether this is a patsy or parallel construction. I think it’s more likely this is the guy & they just used some means they’d rather not share to find him, though I haven’t ruled out him just being a patsy (his comments about the money not being his). If he dies mysteriously in jail I’ll probably swing back to him being a patsy

      • WhatDoYouMeanPodcast [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        2 days ago

        Be me

        McDonald’s Cashier

        Got Paper’s Please during the Steam Summer Sale™

        Finally got to play it

        Showupforwork.jpg.exe

        Feeling funny at work

        “Can I see your papers please?”

        Guy looks surprised but obliges

        WTF it worked???

        Look at the ID

        It says he’s 76 years old

        Look at the name

        Kill D. CEO

        Picture is the kid from Superbad

        Make a copy of it in the copy machine right by the fryer

        “Thank you sir, your food will be right out”

        Try to alert the police

        They show up before my 911 call connects

        Guys I think I just made $60,000!!

  • Bureaucrat [pup/pup's, null/void]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    Related - I really hate how most people write articles. Halfway in and there’s still no followup on the statement made by the headline. On top of that the headline is immediately repeated in the text and the premise is then restated several times.
    We get the “bizzare rule” answered with the second to last sentence

    So, if the informant called 911 instead of Crime Stoppers, they might be unable to make the claim.

    This is what the article is about, but you can’t get around to it until the very end because the article has to be written like an 8th graders essay

    • graymess [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      2 days ago

      It’s literally the opposite structure of the journalistic inverted pyramid format. Most relevant sentences go right at the top, further details below. Articles used to be intentionally written so you could stop reading at any point and walk away with most of the information.

    • AmericaDeserved711 [any]@hexbear.net
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      1 day ago

      the crime stoppers thing is only about the $10k from NY. this is what the article says about the FBI’s $50k

      The rules are complicated, as they stipulate tipsters in with a chance of the FBI portion of the reward cannot nominate themselves.

      This means the McDonald’s worker will have to be put forward by an investigating agency, such as the Department of Defense or the FBI, which is then reviewed by an interagency committee.

      If approved, the suggestion is passed on to the Secretary of State, who signs off on the final decision.

      so the FBI has to put the rat’s name forward and the secretary of state has to approve it. so what? I’m unconvinced they will screw over the rat given how public this story is, and fully convinced this article is clickbait trash

    • Murple_27@lemmy.ml
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      2 days ago

      If you are a minority pell grant recipient who starts a business in a disadvantaged community that stays open for 3+ years, you may be eligible to be nominated to receive the “Snitch of the Year” award from the Department of Defense.

      That’s a Felix bit.