Ayo lmao
There is an actual reason for this: it’s because people buy other people’s urine for drug tests. That little bottle has to be warm when you hand it over. I’m guessing in this case, it’s a high-crime area and people have to report to their probation officers.
Just shows what a farce the whole thing is.
Also, cold piss isn’t nearly as thirst quenching
In your opinion.
That is the joke, yes
Why couldn’t they just use their own body heat?
Also, I’m kind of impressed they figured out how to eat it just enough to get to body temperature in a random microwave.
The body is only 85 + or so degrees on the surface of the skin. It’s not warm enough as internal temp will be 95+degrees and will be obvious it’s not warm enough when they check the temp.
Pro tip—stick on hand warmers and a stick on fish tank thermometer. If it’s a little too hot, just take the hand warmer off of it and wait 30 seconds until it cools to a delicious 98.6.
They’d have to check that pretty fast or it would cool off anyways but now I just feel bad for the people whose job it is to handle the piss thermometer.
In my experience, it’s like a temperature-sensitive sticker on the side of the cup, that’ll indicate the maximum temperature of the contents. That way it also checks for people who accidentally over-heated their fake/borrowed piss.
Oh, that sounds way less disgusting (but still a shitty job)
A buddy of mine had this job, he’s got some good stories. Using packets of hand warmers to keep it warm would work better
Just store it in the balls like normal pee.
The awkward thing is I always tend to accidentally get piss on my hands and on the outside of the cup and then you have to hand it to the worker in shame after trying to clean it with the shitty 1 ply toilet paper and them telling you that you aren’t allowed to wash your hands
Not allowed to wash your hands??? That’s insane, why?
lol why dont they use their own? are they stupid???
I cant tell if you are privileged enough that you have a microwave in which to heat urine, or if you have urine clean enough to pass a drug test. Either way - I’m proud of you.
Plus, this gas station is likely very close to a PO. Heating up piss to smugle in from 20 minutes away won’t likely work very well.
In order to have a microwave, you need to have money. Poor people tend to lack that. Especially poor people who are also drug addicted who just want to keep out of prison or keep their job.
Not to mention when the court orders you to have regular drug testing done, you’re on the hook for them. And they ain’t exactly cheap, especially for someone making 10 bucks an hour part time.
The whole legal system is designed to make non-wealthy people fail to rehabilitate.
Hey now, it’s designed so wealthy people don’t have to rehabilitate either, so that’s fair right?
You have to pay for the Tests yourself?
It’s one microwave, how much could it cost? 1000 dollars?
It might as well cost $1000 if you are barely scraping by.
All this tells me is you’ve never been inside the home of a poor person, let alone a poor person who is also suffering from addiction. If they have a home at all.
It’s a joke. They’re referencing arrested development
This just tells me you’ve never been inside the house of a poor person. If you think they have a tv at all.
The joke is literally about an out of touch rich person not knowing what things cost and scoffing at an expense. “It’s one banana, Michael. What could it cost? $10?”
They’re not disconnected - at least not based on that comment. Maybe they’re a piece of shit who knows? But this comment is specifically NOT what you’re saying.
I get why you were upset but it is not what you think it is. Put the pitchfork down and take a beat. This is a misunderstanding, you missed a joke and that’s fine. But now it has been explained to you.
Maybe they can spend money on microwave instead of drugs or urine.
Tell me you don’t understand addiction without telling me you don’t understand addiction.
Oh poor babies! Let’s be real most of addicted people are adults that should be responsible for their own lives, I was addicted to alcohol and stopped, it was hard ofc. If they can’t maaaybe they shouldn’t try to game the system and own their mistakes?
And people with clinical depression just need to smile more, am I right?
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Yeah, and the poors need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, transgender folks need to just make peace with what their mothers’ doctors said, underpaid employees should just go get a better paid job, and fat people should just stop putting food in their gobs until they’re thin. People sleeping on the street: they’re the silliest – they should just go inside!
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Starting 2025 with the compassion resolution I see.
Good job!
You had zero opportunities to be robbed by a family member at knife point due to them needing a fix. Sorry not sorry, no compassion here, people like that should be forced either get off the drugs or go to jail.
You are spectacularly ignorant
I think oftentimes they find use of their own urine demeaning and so prefer to outsource.
you seem smarter than a squid
A squid is able to get through a hole.
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I’m guessing this is the closest convenience store with a microwave to a drug testing medical facility?
PaulRuddWTFHappenedHere.jpg
Someone probably tried to heat “clean” urine to pass a drug test.
The war on drugs killed my convenience store burritos.
Or even synthetic urine. If a drug test can’t tell the difference, it’s gonna be close enough to smell like you microwaved real piss.
Does that even work?
Yeah but microwave would be hard to get the temp right. It’s better to use hand warmers. Not that I would know anything about that.
Never tried it myself. I did provide clean urine to a friend, but I think their plan was just to wear it in/near their crotch long enough for it to warm up.
I’d imagine microwaving might work, as long as you didn’t do it too long. But, I don’t know if there’s some ions or proteins in urine that are more sensitive to microwaves than other heating methods.
Yes it contains all the markers that pass the controls of the test. Easy option for an unsupervised urine test.
I can almost guarantee someone was trying to pass a drug test. Fake piss became easy to buy, and even include things like under-belt harnesses and fake penises. So even if someone is in the room watching you take the test, it still looks legit. So modern drug tests will also check to see if the urine is at (or at least very near) body temperature.
And this presents a problem with fake piss kits, because the surface of your skin doesn’t typically stay at body temperature; It’s usually anywhere from 90-95° instead of 98. Which means that even if you wear the belt pack all day, your body heat won’t be enough to warm the fake piss up enough.
So some people will resort to microwaving it just before they walk in. Get it to like 103° at the gas station across the street, (warm, but not enough to burn you when you wear it) so that by the time you walk across the street to take your drug test, it has cooled down to body temperature.
Get it to like 103° at the gas station across the street,
This is gonna scare people who aren’t used to Fahrenheit.
95° really boils my piss
Jesus Christ, one could just lay off the weed for a bit.
You’d think so, wouldn’t you? It should be common sense that if you’re interviewing for a job, you should probably not be doing drugs in case they test.
But also, random drug tests are a thing in some jobs.
They might be both addicted to a substance AND on probation. Drug Addiction is treated like a crime and not an illness.
And that’s why I mentioned random drug tests. You don’t always get the luxury of knowing you’ll be tested days in advance. And yes, it’s easy to say “just don’t do drugs while on probation” but the sad reality is that drugs are surprisingly easy to get in prison. It’s common for many people to become addicted while incarcerated, (because it’s one of the few respites they get while incarcerated prison) and then they piss hot after being let out on probation, and get thrown right back in again. It’s a cycle that the system has intentionally set up, to ensure prisons are perpetually full.
90°? Sounds like one heck of a burn!
‘land of the free’ my ass, can’t even put piss in the microwave
Whats with that big ass USA label?
cos its made in AMERICAAAA RAAAAAAAAHH
Pretty sure when you turn it over you can see a small little label that says Made In China :D
The label was made in America. On a Chinese printer.
My Maytag washing machine has a silly little “America 🇺🇸” sticker on it. It’s so corny. It may have been assembled in the United States, but it’s likely from parts made by Midea in China.
Auto manufacturers have been infamous for this in the past. It’s probably why Monroney stickers tell you the percentage of parts by country of origin. Here it is on the sticker for my Honda Civic.
i dont think there is any electronical device or machine exists that made purely by one factory or country its always assembled from parts from different places just stupid flag wars lol
it stands for teh land of the free
heat urine if you feel like it
Whoever told you that is your enewee
So people remember what country they live in.
Clearly they’re just practicing their science, trying to pay homage to Hennig Brand.
Literally 1984.
The USA flag really brings it all together
i feel like if they actually wanted to stop this they should just get a separate microwave dedicated to urine heating. if people are doing it to pass a drug test, and the alternative is possibly failing a drug test, then i’m not really sure a sign is going to stop them. better to have a sacrificial microwave.
Ideally you need to put a code on the microwave for food and leave the other one free for piss heaters and people who don’t care either way.
Don’t tell me what to do
It pisses me off
There’s a story here that I’m not sure I wanna know.
My head cannon is that there’s no such thing as a pee fetish, and the entire idea is propped up by the overwhelming sales of synthetic piss from sex shops in order to pass drug tests. Some porn studio marketing team noticed the sales and decided they should fill that niche, but all the viewers are just confused people watching out of shock value.
Basically the war on drugs inadvertently created a massive market where people piss and shit on eachother and think they like it.
A person was probably heating up some pee on the way to cheat a drug test. They have little thermometer strips on the side, like what you see on a fish tank, to help verify the sample wasn’t brought in or tampered with.
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Someone got sick of cleaning the microwave. I would have put “feces”.
Won’t nobody microwave shit. Ahhhh. Ahahahaha. Hahaha!
You get me! I know you doodoo.
What in the goddamn fuck the peoples who microwaved URINE ? cmon it’s waste from your body not food…smh…
Drug tests.
Buy store-bought urine or bring someone else’s for the test. It’s still gotta be body temp when you use it. So you nuke it for a few seconds before you tape it to your leg on your way in.
One thing to have a pee fetish, another thing to serve it hot
“Earl Grey’s pee, hot.”
