Children of Time is a 2015 science fiction novel by Adrian Tchaikovsky.

In the distant future, humanity seeks to create new habitats for itself on distant planets, terraforming them and seeding them with life. Dr. Avrana Kern is heading one such project, orbiting the tentatively named “Kern’s World”, where the plan is to release monkeys le-monke infected with a nanovirus that will accelerate their evolution. Through an act of sabotage from an anti-technology group that has also destroyed much of Earth, the monkeys are never released, and the virus instead infects a species of spider, Portia labiata. The book follows the evolution of the spiders and their eventual civilisation, as well as a remnant of humanity that fled to Kern’s World hoping to find paradise.

also children of ruin and children of memory, the sequels, are really good

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  • buh [she/her]@hexbear.netMEnglish
    8·
    14 hours ago

    Just wanted to say you’re not alone, I always upvote your posts when I see them but I don’t always reply because I don’t know what to say since I struggle many of the same thoughts and feelings as well.

    I can’t start hrt because I can’t get better

    CW: alcoholism

    I feel this so much, I might be able to start HRT soon but the closer I get to the day where they do blood tests to make sure my health is in order, the more I feel like my health is too fucked from years of general neglect and alcoholism. I tried to quit a while back, and managed a little over a month sober, but relapsed in November. I’m trying to commit to staying sober until then (I’ve at least managed to have some sober days in the last couple weeks, as opposed to near zero for most of my adult life), but I know it’s too little, too late.

    • BountifulEggnog [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
      7·
      12 hours ago

      Thank you, knowing you (and others here) are listening helps. I don’t know what to say either. I’m sorry you have the same struggles.

      spoiler

      Good job being even a little sober. Its hard. I hope its not too little. I’ll be thinking of you and wishing you well, please update when you get your tests back.

    • TerminalEncounter [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
      8·
      13 hours ago
      spoiler

      Firstly, in terms of your health, you should of course quit and get sober and I doubt I even need to say it. If you need extra help you should seek it out, quitting can be difficult. Alcohol is quite harsh on a number of your organs and can give you cancer (which is much underestimated in the general population). If you’re drinking enough a day, you may need medical observation to make sure you get through withdrawals okay. How much depends on your genetics and other factors, but generally if you’re drinking first thing when you wake up and continuing through out the day that’s about where you’d need medical observation. It sounds like you aren’t drinking that much because you’ve been able to have sober days and even a sober month (congrats for that!)

      The tests they’d be doing would be about your testosterone levels, your estrogen levels, and your electrolytes if the plan is to start on spiro. Alcohol and spiro aren’t a great combo, it’ll make you feel pretty weird. Alcohol can mess with your magnesium levels which in turns mess with your potassium, potassium is the one that spiro acts on. Spiro (spironolactone) is a potassium sparing diuretic, it acts on your kidneys to make you pee more but keep more potassium than usual. It has an off label use as an anti androgen. If they test your liver enzymes and iron - there’s not really a reason to do it just for HRT - then they’d see how alcohol has been affecting your liver. When you’ve started on E, eventually you will be closer to how cis women are affected by alcohol. Yes it will take you less to be more drunk and it will affect your health more with fewer drinks.

      I don’t know if this is the case for you, but I’ve found a lot of people with a - let’s say problematic relationship with alcohol tend to rely on it as self-medication for anxiety. Anxiety is also super common with trans people. If that sounds like something you’re dealing with, see if you can get on something like an SNRI and/or getting a short term benzo as needed for panic attacks (if you have them). Those kind of psych meds do not play well with alcohol, one drink every once in a while is fine but every day would affect you way differently than you might be used to. You could, again if this is something that affects you, also seek out some therapy and get tools for dealing with anxiety in addition or instead of medication.

      Quitting is hard but doable, you can do it! You made it one month before which means you can do it again. Peoples’ bodies are generally pretty resilient especially before advanced age (think like over 70 lol). If you start picking up good health habits like limiting or quitting alcohol, eating a more balanced diet with plenty of fibre, and making sure you get at least 30 minutes of activity a day you will be in pretty great health in short order! There is no “too late to start” it will always benefit you ♡