Have any queer vibes to share? Here’s your place! 
Talk about what’s happening queerly in your life - like coming out, getting HRT, questioning, and all that good stuff.
No cishets allowed! 
So I recently changed my pronouns to undecided. It feels more honest the way things have been in my head as of late.
Still no clue what the answer is. Would it be weird to not try and actively resolve it and just let things percolate a bit?
This isn’t weird at all, that kind of stuff can take time and you should just move at your own pace.
Thanks for the advice. It honestly feels nice to just “not know” for a bit. It’s like a buffer zone or something.
i get that, some things need time to sink in, and some just sort themselves out slowly.
“Negative capability do be pretty poggers”
- John Keats, 1817
I had not a dispute but a disquisition with Dilke, upon various subjects; several things dove-tailed in my mind, and at once it struck me what quality went to form a Man of Achievement, especially in Literature, and which Shakespeare possessed so enormously—I mean Negative Capability, that is, when a man is capable of being in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason— Coleridge, for instance, would let go by a fine isolated verisimilitude caught from the Penetralium of mystery, from being incapable of remaining content with half-knowledge. This pursued through volumes would perhaps take us no further than this, that with a great poet the sense of Beauty overcomes every other consideration, or rather obliterates all consideration.
I think I might need to read old poets more, that excerpt slapped and it was just from a letter.
I will now aim to find a legitimate use for the term penetralium in everyday parlance
reading up on hrt tonight, feels like I’m one baby step closer to being who I really am
just got my shipment of hormones and testoblockers, next few months are covered again.
love how they’re marked all the way through as something completely different, so even if some nosy dickhead breaks the package even the order confirmation has me covered, this random person in turkey has more solidarity with me than my fucking state that just decided to stop coercing us into sterilisation this year, so that’s great. fucking
s and their consequences istgThinking about asking my mom directly to use they/them pronouns for me. She used them for a little bit after I told her about my gender cornfusion but she stopped doing it after a while. I don’t feel ready to use she/her in person (online it’s easier because it’s not connected to my physical representation) but this would at least cut out the discomfort of being called “he” all the time
also working up the courage to join a local-ish queer discord. I just don’t wanna join and find out it’s like 5 random people and they’re all libs
ngl i felt very similar early on about they/them usage, i even was ok with the dreaded he because i was worried i was pushing it too hard.
i gotta say ripping the bandaid off on that was one of the better choices i made. obviously go your own speed, but make sure you do what makes you comfortable
I feel like I need to make more progress in other areas of presentation before it feels right. That in turn is predicated by getting my own apartment so I feel comfortable enough to explore. There’s probably some “worthiness” brainworms and self-sabotage attached but ¯\_༼ •́ ͜ʖ •̀ ༽_/¯ I’m just too much of a wreck to figure it out
yeah i feel you. i didnt really start going for name/pronoun changes until maybe about a year into hrt. and i didnt start dressing femme until 2 years in. having everyone start gendering you right on their own accord is definitely a way to push you into getting shit done
and for the record, you can pretty easily sneak the hrt by people. i did it for a bit cause we have a family living culture, so like my whole extended family here in the USA lives in one house. it takes a while for the changes to accrue.
I hope your Mom is cool! I think a gentle correction sometimes is good too, I do that with my parents sometimes and it helps.
You totally should join your local server. Probably a queer discord is one of the most leftwing spaces out there, so you might find a comrade or two. And even if not, it’s always good to know some local faces.
She’s… eh about it. But baby steps, I guess. Appreciate the advice.🫂
going to a local trans meetup tomorrow. i’m taking a super nice trans girl i met on an antifa trans discord there, promised to meet her a bit earlier so i can help her calm down her social anxiety. the place is very chill, but it’s her first time with that crowd, so i’ll see what i can do to make her feel at ease.
hope it goes well! :D
I hope so, too, but i’m not worried much, she’s such a sweet person and the people there are really nice and welcoming.
my little brother has been calling me bro instead of sis. i freaking love it. i am a bro! (still calls me his sister to his friends). he and his friends almost jumped a kid for being transphobic but he cant remember anyone’s pronouns for his life if that gives you a picture of where hes at.
Had a phone call with my GP this week.
Being intentionally correctly gendered for the first time in my life felt a little surreal ngl.
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So it was 7 months to the day today that my egg cracked. During my 10 day long freakout I made a post to Transenby_liberation where I outlined all my confusing feelings and fears. In the past 7 months, most of those fears have come to pass. My ex fiance has officially left me today. She has a boyfriend now. Another big fear of mine that came to realization was that I wasted her 20s. I didn’t feel that I wasted my 20s with her, but she feels that way. And today she saw me in makeup and a skirt, and she told me she doesn’t feel bad anymore that she is dating someone else.
Honestly it hurts. I feel incredibly alone right now. But I’m trusting that I’m making the right decision to pursue transition. I’m incredibly scared though and I feel like I’m making a mistake.
Jesus that fucking sucks
Every trans person is braver than the troops
It’s weird that your ex fiancee left you today but she also has a boyfriend now? That’s kinda shitty of her, wtf? I mean if your sexuality and gender identity didn’t align that’s one thing but obviously sneaking around on you before having the courage to break up was shitty of her to do.
Also saying she wasted her 20s with you is very very dumb. That sounds like it’s coming from a place of pain she’s gonna have to deal with. Maybe she’s jealous you look better in a skirt and makeup than she did 😤
Well she left me officially 3 or 4 days ago but she said she was gonna open her dms about a month ago, but wouldnt do anything rrrally until were seperated. But still, it’s very quick and i had no idea she was that serious with a guy while we were living together. It’s a lot of whiplash though. I think I stupidly thought that maybe she would realize I’m still the same person inside and idk… try and see if we could make it work. But maybe this is for the best. It’s making me realize that I have no other option than to just try and move forward without her
Why the fuck is increasing my E getting me so horned up, wtf. I was
warnedassured that it would make me celibate. But noooo, apparently I’m the one trans girl with the secret genetic makeup that turns E into a permanent party drug. After my breakup I was kinda hoping to leave that behind for a bit…still wanting to go back to normal 😔
lol I think that’s pretty common. My guess is that many of the women who lose all sex drive may be on a high anti-androgen and a low estrogen dose, which maybe isn’t the best. Things will probably calm down once you’ve adjusted tho.
nah, it does the same thing to me
Went to a new therapist that I really like (they’re not cis)
Throwing out gay stuff in gay thread:
Dating struggles
Asked out a guy for the first time in my life today. Turns out he already has a boyfriend :agony: so there’s another L for me. On the other hand this guy is so
that I don’t think he realized that I was asking him out. I didn’t directly ask him out but I did say I was bi and then directly after asked if he had time to do stuff this weekend, so first he fiddled through his phone and then mentioned that he had a date with his bf. This guy is peak . The alternative could be that it was a masterclass in “totally down to hang out but only as friends”.Sexuality struggles: Is it normal to be more attracted to one gender than another as a bisexual and then have it switch? Is it normal to be romantically attracted to girls but only sexually attracted to guys?
Do note: I’m not looking to expand beyond being bisexual. That’s the only label I want to use, even if I’m technically pansexual or something.
I think both those things are normal.
It’s super common to kind of go back and forth in terms of what gender you look at/think about. It happens to me, and to many other people I have talked to. Sometimes this gets called the “bi-cycle”, which is funny, but also not a good term because its not actually predictable like a cycle. If you ever end up in a serious relationship with a guy, it might send you to the gay end of things for a while, but you’ll probably still notice women.
You definitely also hear people who talk about being sexually attracted to one gender and romantically interested in another. It’s not weird, and doesn’t mean you’re not bi. But, is it possible that you’re not so romantically attracted to guys because you grew up in a heteronormative society? Like if you only saw straight couples when you were young you might subconsciously imagine them as the only way be in a romantic relationship. Not saying that’s what’s going on, just a thought.
Either way, good luck with the gay shit!
hope everyone’s having a good week!
It’s my favorite thread!
I’ve had an interesting couple of weeks because I moved to a new place, and also my girlfriend kind of moved in with me. Like she’s not living her all the time, but she has some stuff here, comes over every weekend at least, and also left her Blahaj in my bed. I really like her, but honestly I’m a little bit nervous. This is like my first serious relationship where I’m an adult with my own place and a job and stuff, and I don’t want to mess things up. But I have known her for a while, it’s not like we rented a UHaul after the second date. She was here for most of last week, and after she told me that my place felt more like home to her than anywhere else she could go. Which is like adorable and wonderful and sweet, but also scary. I think everything will be good tho, we’re good at talking things through and stuff.
Also this is funny: I live in a weird old house that’s been divided into three apartments, and every apartment now has a lesbian couple living in it. What are the odds? Or is this some sort of strange plot by my landlord? Maybe he’s got a house of bisexual grad students or skinny-white-guys-who-smoke-weed-and-watch-movies down the street.
your updates about you and your gf have been so nice to read! glad things are going well, even if they’re a lil scary sometimes :)
weird old house that’s been divided into three apartments, and every apartment now has a lesbian couple living in it.
You have devised a gay sitcom plot
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Some days I am happy with a gendered language and unhappy with neutral. Today I’m unhappy with gendered language.
Demiboy? Just taking aguess here , I’m
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Sorry, just trying to help, thought you were trying to figure out a label that’d fit.
