So a bit of context, I’ve been having s video from Diesel Patches and a bunch of what I calle.“Reactionary Commentary Channels” talking about diversity once again. But this time, they tried to convey their Bigotry through “commentating” on a Dove commercial where they have different women of different ability and ethnicity be shown in the Unreal Engine to do the usual Rainbow Capitalist commercial.
Unfortunately, Diesel don’t talk about how Rainbow Capitalism sucks but just said that wanting diversity in a game having someone looking like you is selfish and pointless as games are an escapism (Which is Sad). And I’ve been wanting to make maybe one of those Reddit videos of people talking about their experiences.
So this one is basically: When did you see yourself in a game? What was it that made you relate to the character and would you prefer games to show your identity more and how?
Life is Strange. I was just a little older than Chloe when it came out. I’d also been kicked out of high school, had a fairly similar home life and was struggling with suicidal thoughts because I just saw myself as destructive to myself and everything around me. That I’d been abandoned. I could even see reflections of myself in the little things - she said things I had said basically word for word, had very similar tastes and interests.
While I’m obviously aware that canonically this is diluted by the other main ending*, the choice on the cliff where she effectively wants to commit suicide so she stops destroying everything around her hit home hard for me. Because while I had seen myself in her, I also come to like her and empathize with her for the ways she was different. I had seen her plan as just an emotional breakdown that didn’t really make any sense, that this was just someone in crisis who deserved help.
In deciding that she didn’t deserve to die, in a way I also accepted that I didn’t either. It was cathartic and unironically a big turning point in my life.
* Unfortunately the game decides that she is uniquely destructive and things would be better if she died, but oh well. Didn’t lessen the impact the initial decision had on me. Still think doing more time travel to fix problems caused by using time travel is a stupid plan that only makes sense to someone who really isn’t doing well mentally, and that it’s an extremely weird authorial decision given the way the game treats suicide in the multiple other times it’s presented.
No longer being an immature teenager, I think I’m served more often these days. Now the stuff that resonates with me are the struggles of working, adult life. Declining health and coming to terms with moving past my peak in a lot of ways. I found the early moments of Citizen Sleeper, where you’re trying to manage a very finite pool of energy and effort while trying to scrape enough together to manage your disability very relatable. I’m not sure I’d want to be over saturated with games that deal with my current reality though.
Yeah, the expensive “you need this to function” medicine mechanic hit hard. Great game, but I agree, I wouldn’t want every game to be like this!
I think the everyone else lives ending resonated with me a lot because, in a way, the whole story is about losing a friend you didn’t keep close. It’s like the whole story is about being able to say goodbye to this friend, becauae they were already dead either way.