I’m a miserable human being who can’t relate to others and is constantly lost inside of my own head, and find myself longing for a world of wonder and passion and truth while I am forced to dwell painfully in one that is mundane and insensible and cruel, teetering on the edge of ruin. Turning to substances provides escape and comfort but no relief from the constantly surmounting pressure, and the love of a woman is a thing foreign to me at this point in my life.

I don’t think I’ve ever related to any character I’ve played as. Which is interesting to me now that I think that I’ve played video games since I was young. I don’t recall if I’ve ever related to any character in any video game for that matter. Sure I’ve been able to related to certain characters in books and manga, but never a video game. I suppose it goes hand in hand when most video games are power fantasies or puzzles.

Oh, nevermind, I’ve related to Ruka from Steins Gate which is a video game sorta (though I’d consider it more of a novel in the visual sense)

As a white dude? probably when I was six, with just about every game. As someone with a crippling mental illness? Maybe Dark Souls? The whole game is about persevering in a grey, terrible world that just gets worse the further you go in to it. And the only reason to keep going is because, for whatever reason, you want to. A whole theme is that the people who gave up are still there, they’re the undead creatures you fight along the way. The handful of people who are still struggling on have their reasons, but many of them give up or lose their way before the end. You can’t permanently die, and aside from a few bullshit monsters you don’t really lose much of anything when you’re killed. The only way to lose the game is to give up. That’s basically my life.

Depression quest and Senua’s Sacrifice also count. I couldn’t get more than a few steps in to Depression Quest because it was way, way too real. I didn’t even try with Senua’s Sacrifice. Wouldn’t have been able to handle it.

In Splatoon 3, there is a black octoling trombonist that’s part of a band.

As a black trombonist, I squealed in joy when I first saw them.

i’ve related to aspects of characters from media, but never the whole thing

I first saw myself in a game when I played Starcraft II: Heart of the Swarm

From first glance I thought this referred to full body awareness in FPS games

So this one is basically: When did you see yourself in a game? What was it that made you relate to the character?

Life is Strange. I was just a little older than Chloe when it came out. I’d also been kicked out of high school, had a fairly similar home life and was struggling with suicidal thoughts because I just saw myself as destructive to myself and everything around me. That I’d been abandoned. I could even see reflections of myself in the little things - she said things I had said basically word for word, had very similar tastes and interests.

While I’m obviously aware that canonically this is diluted by the other main ending*, the choice on the cliff where she effectively wants to commit suicide so she stops destroying everything around her hit home hard for me. Because while I had seen myself in her, I also come to like her and empathize with her for the ways she was different. I had seen her plan as just an emotional breakdown that didn’t really make any sense, that this was just someone in crisis who deserved help.

In deciding that she didn’t deserve to die, in a way I also accepted that I didn’t either. It was cathartic and unironically a big turning point in my life.

* Unfortunately the game decides that she is uniquely destructive and things would be better if she died, but oh well. Didn’t lessen the impact the initial decision had on me. Still think doing more time travel to fix problems caused by using time travel is a stupid plan that only makes sense to someone who really isn’t doing well mentally, and that it’s an extremely weird authorial decision given the way the game treats suicide in the multiple other times it’s presented.

Would you prefer games to show your identity more and how?

No longer being an immature teenager, I think I’m served more often these days. Now the stuff that resonates with me are the struggles of working, adult life. Declining health and coming to terms with moving past my peak in a lot of ways. I found the early moments of Citizen Sleeper, where you’re trying to manage a very finite pool of energy and effort while trying to scrape enough together to manage your disability very relatable. I’m not sure I’d want to be over saturated with games that deal with my current reality though.

I first saw myself in Vera Misham, a defendent in an Ace Attorney game. Idk, she was a recluse at a time that I was also withdrawn, despite being outgoing as a child, and that sparked recognition.

Lots of Ace Attorney characters are better described as caricatures, or bit characters who have one major plot line and a quirk, but for me hers had resonance and depth.