“Nearly every social event I have attended with [communists] has inevitably had some conversation about linux, furry culture, obscure leftist history, tabletop games, or other equally nerdy subjects”

Join our public Matrix server! https://matrix.to/#/#traacha:transfem.dev

As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.

Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It’s for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.

Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.

  • gaystyleJoker [she/her]@hexbear.netMEnglish
    6·
    2 months ago

    hi, does anyone wanna make the mega in the upcoming weeks? if so, reply to this post and i’ll add you to the list!

    the list as it stands:

    SwitchyandWitchy* (1/20 (The darkest day in the history of our democracy.) - 1/26)
SILLY [email protected]* (1/27 - 2/2)
AshenWolf* (2/3 - 2/9)
GayTuckerCarlson* (2/10 - 2/16)
oscardejarjayes* (2/17 - 2/23)
EstraDoll (2/24 - 3/2)
Eco* (3/3 - 3/9)

    ​ * after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters

  • yewler [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    25·
    2 months ago

    I just introduced myself with she/her pronouns to an entire 75 student class for the first time and it STRESSED me out but it was ultimately painless

  • Yukiko [she/her]@hexbear.netMEnglish
    22·
    2 months ago
    CW: Severe dysphoria and depression, discussion of self-harm, relationship and familial issues

    I can’t be around here right now. Everything is setting of severe dysphoria and depression. I’ve had to completely disconnect from any talk about gender, sex, or relationships as it torpedoes my mental state immediately. I’ve even been avoiding my friends and “family.” Family being my mother and sister, who are now on the verge of being tossed out of my fucking life. It’s like everyone lacks empathy. No one understands the sheer immensity of the pain and suffering I’m going through right now. “Just cheer up. Smile and you’ll be fine. That’s no reason to be so upset.” Thanks mom. Go fuck yourself. You’ve not exactly been the most helpful during my transition these last few years. The shadow of my ex continues to hang over me and I’ve destroyed some things in my house that remind me of him. I’ve been extremely not well if that’s not clear. I even skipped out on making the topic this week cause I just can’t. I’m glad I value my life so highly otherwise I might not be here right now. It’s crossed my mind on more than one occasion recently, too. Even my therapist isn’t fucking helping me. Ugh.

    I just wish I was born a woman. I feel like a horrible facsimile. Like someone was given a doll and parts and told to do their best. This vagina. These breasts. They all feel horrendously fake. I feel like someone took a hobby knife to a Ken doll and just did what they could. I can’t stand it. I just want to feel me. I wish I could’ve grown up properly. I wish I could have a uterus. I wish I could have children to raise and watch grow up and give a good life to. I wish I could’ve had all those experiences in life that cis-women just take for granted. I can’t take this. I just can’t.

    I know almost none of you really know me or care about me and I apologize for shitting up the mega. All of you are so happy with what you’re going through that you don’t deserve to see the absolute trainwreck that is my life right now. I’m sorry, but with no one to properly just vent to, I resort to coming here. Legitimately if you don’t like it and don’t care to see this, I will stop. Just tell me in reply or PM. Seriously.

  • lilypad [she/her, null/void]@hexbear.netEnglish
    22·
    2 months ago
    im overwhelmed

    My friend has been so fucking weird with me and needing constant unending intense emotional support around her life and specifically around her jealousy of myself and one of our friends fucking. I keep trying to tell her that i cant be a suppirt person in this for her, but nothing changes, and i keep having the same conversation over and over and its fucking exhausting and i just want it to end. The convo isnt productive, and its sole purpose is for her to get reassurance that we wont fuck when im clear and adamant that that us stopping wont happen, because us fucking is none of her business. We all live together and she wants me to text her any time we are gonna fuck but also doesnt ever want to know about it and i keep telling her that its not appropriate or healthy for us to have that depth and style of communication and she agrees with me and then a couple days later asks for it again and we have the exact same convo all over again catgirl-disgust

    Anyway i keep asking for space and she doesnt give it to me and she gets upset and feels like im “leaving her” when i go to my room for distance and space. Im so done with this.

    • Tommasi [she/her, pup/pup's]@hexbear.netEnglish
      14·
      2 months ago
      spoiler

      doggirl-sweat Does the house have zero soundproofing or something so she can hear everything? Because then I guess I understand why someone might get really uncomfortable, but otherwise that’s extremely weird and not appropriate behaviour.

      • lilypad [she/her, null/void]@hexbear.netEnglish
        5·
        2 months ago
        spoiler

        No i dont think she can hear us that well. I mean, she can probably hear the loudest of the loudest parts of what we do. But thats part of having neighbors and roommates. Idk like i grew up listening to and even falling asleep to the sound of people fucking a lot, and to me thats just part of living around people, especially in the city. So like to me if its like a sleep disturbance thing i would get it, but its literally just anytime she thinks about either of us being sexually active with anyone. And tbh she thinks about it more often than we do at this point.

  • yewler [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    22·
    2 months ago

    I’m sitting here on my bed and I can’t stop imagining myself with boobs. I thought that was a more secondary desire but now that I’m actually on E I actually can’t focus cause I’m thinking about my future boobs